Coming Home

Nine months ago, my psychologist recommended I go on antidepressants. I was numb. Detached. Passively watching the world fade in and out of focus. I lived in the spaces between panic attacks, and my disordered behaviors around food and training intensified. I was claustrophobic, trapped inside a version of myself I no longer recognized. Since…Read more Coming Home

NEDA Week Day 6: Today

NEDAwareness Week Day 6: Silencing the Internal Critic When I originally embarked on sharing my story, I thought I was in a place where I could separate myself from who I used to be – detach my present identity from this battle that consumed the greater part of my adolescence. I envisioned a polished essay…Read more NEDA Week Day 6: Today

NEDA Week Day 5: Treatment

NEDAwareness Week Day 5: Asking for Help It was 9 p.m. on a Wednesday somewhere in the middle of Kansas. I scrolled through the pale pink web page, eyes squinting in my phone’s harsh light. I was partway through a cross-country drive, eventually landing in San Diego, Calif. for a summer internship. I was also…Read more NEDA Week Day 5: Treatment

NEDA Week Day 4: Eating Disorder, defined

NEDAwareness Week Day 4: Defining an Eating Disorder The room smelled familiar – like antiseptic soap and one too many sprays of Febreeze. I shifted on the table, wincing as the paper scratched against the cheap leather. I had just finished another round of the Gardasil vaccine and inquired about remedies for dry skin – my…Read more NEDA Week Day 4: Eating Disorder, defined